Years ago, when Nora was in the worst phase of her life (dead husband, dead dad, lost pregnancy) she heard a lot of people describe her as resilient. Those people meant it as a compliment, but to Nora it didn’t feel that way. She was tired, grieving, and lost so much in her life- the “resiliency” people saw was often just…the privilege she had to survive it.

So when Nora got the new book, The Resiliency Myth by Soraya Chemaly, she devoured it. In this episode, Nora and Soraya talk about different ways to think about resiliency and how celebrating it can be a little toxic.

Two years ago Julia Winston was asked to help a gay couple start a family by donating her eggs. At the time, she was 38, single, and had no idea if she’d start her own family. Sometimes that made her feel insecure, so the opportunity to donate her eggs allowed her to help create a family, just not the one she imagined in her head. Since the donation, she’s gone through an emotional transformation that opened her eyes to all the different ways a family can look. 

In 2015, Sarah Super was raped by her ex-boyfriend Alex Neal. And she channeled that act of violence into a mission-driven organization that helped survivors of sexual violence feel seen and heard. 9 years after the night that changed her life, Sarah reflects on what it means to move forward with her life and to reclaim her identity as more than a survivor. Sarah was a guest on the first season of our podcast.

An update on the future of TTFA.

For years, Nancy could picture her ideal partner. She wanted someone who would make her laugh, who would love her son, and who would make her feel confident and empowered. When she met Noa, he checked all the boxes. Everything she thought other people made up about love suddenly came true. But…this perfect love didn’t last forever.

Jenni was raised Mormon, and for the first part of her life, was a dutiful follower. She got married young, attended church, and was a loyal wife. But life got messy and complicated for Jenni, and she eventually made a choice that surprised her. A choice considered a sin in her culture, and a pretty hurtful thing to do by the rest of society: she cheated. For the last year, Jenni’s been grappling with the shame and guilt of this choice and how parts of her dating history led to this choice.

Feliz lost her sister, Karina, in a horrifying way — in a way that’s quick to draw judgment and condemnation. Feliz has seen the worst of it all, but Karina deserves to be defined by her life, not her death.

A warning that this episode includes discussions of drug use and poisoning.

One of our listeners, Brianna, tells us about the curse that plagued her family for four years. Each year, a different member of her family “ruined” Christmas.

Kelly loved her dad, then she lost her dad. Kelly loved her grandpa, then she lost her grandpa. Now that Kelly’s a mom herself, she wants to ensure that her son knows he’s loved, no matter what comes.

There are some stories so plainly horrifying, some crimes so gut wrenching, that it can be hard to imagine the perpetrator as anything other than a villain. A drunk driving accident that killed 6 people does not sound like the beginning of a redemption story. But this episode isn’t about redemption — it’s about learning to live alongside an unthinkable mistake.